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The Third Plastered Part of Binky's Festive Frolic!

3. Ding-Dong, Binky is so High, Goodness His Head is Spinning

In which Binky Blowbottom butchers the English language
And Ophelia Bloodgool eyes an appetiser for her impending cat sandwich.

Binky Blowbottom was out of his giddy gourd.
There is a saying – you may be familiar with it, or possibly with the condition it describes, depending on your access to illicitly obtained liquor, and if you’re an adult reading this, well, you’re probably plastered anyway – ‘three sheets to the wind’. Binky was in such a state now, only multiplied by a factor of nineteen to the dozen. Who would have believed juicing up bird meat and French biscuits could have such a powerful effect?

Read the rest of Chapter Three in Binky Blowbottom's Chrismas Spirit, available from Amazon now!


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7. And Binky Blowbottom’s Big Fat Belly, was Filled on Christmas Day In which Binky considers himself something of a winner When he has himself a very mighty Christmas Dinner. It was 5.30am, and Lemington Soot was awoken by the sensation of a cat pawing at his face. Which was out of the ordinary, as Binky Blowbottom customarily greeted him in this manner at an even unholier hour ‘pon Christmas morn, invariably to complain about the dismal contents of his Super Special Binky Stocking. ‘Good morning, Binky,’ yawned Lemington sleepily. ‘Save the platitudes,’ came the curmudgeonly response.  Read the rest of Chapter Six in Binky Blowbottom's Chrismas Spirit, available from Amazon now!