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Showing posts from December, 2016

Will Binky's Christmas Dinner Be Oh-So Merry? The Final Chapter.

7. And Binky Blowbottom’s Big Fat Belly, was Filled on Christmas Day In which Binky considers himself something of a winner When he has himself a very mighty Christmas Dinner. It was 5.30am, and Lemington Soot was awoken by the sensation of a cat pawing at his face. Which was out of the ordinary, as Binky Blowbottom customarily greeted him in this manner at an even unholier hour ‘pon Christmas morn, invariably to complain about the dismal contents of his Super Special Binky Stocking. ‘Good morning, Binky,’ yawned Lemington sleepily. ‘Save the platitudes,’ came the curmudgeonly response.  Read the rest of Chapter Six in Binky Blowbottom's Chrismas Spirit, available from Amazon now!

Part Six of Binky's Xmas Escapade!

6. Hark, the Terror Turkey Brings, Gobbling Sounds and Other Things… Including a Snood! In which Binky’s thrilling adventure – and oh, so quirky – Finds him face to face with a beserky Christmas turkey. The snow was still falling but less of a blizzard now, as Binky Blowbottom pursued the pernicious proprietor of a steroidally-stimulated gizzard. Charting a course for Pobbleton, he realised he was too late for the train that wasn’t stopping; it had ripped through the village minutes earlier. And there it was! In the distance, thundering along the tracks. All it lacked was a plume of smoke, but sadly, this was not the days of yore, when cats were sent up chimneys to earn a hardy crust. Binky had to assume the blasted bird was already aboard. And, if it knew the pecking order, it would be studiously avoiding an altercation with the ticket inspector, rail pass or no rail pass. So, Binky deduced, the winged freak would either be in a freight compartment or on the ro

Part Five, and Binky's Holiday Hijinks Reach New Heights!

5. These Two Cats of Appetites are, Chasing Birds in an Aeronautical Car In which Binky and Marmalade reach the Ratbridge Canteen, There’s a close encounter with an HGV, and Binky vents some spleen. Dashing through the snow Atop an unmanned open drone, O’er the fields they went… And… you get the idea. Yes, Binky Blowbottom, Esq., and his sometime partner in extraordinary escapades, Marmalade Masticat, were hot on the trail of hot turkey entrails. Read the rest of Chapter Five in Binky Blowbottom's Chrismas Spirit, available from Amazon now!

What Seasonal Scrapes Lie in Store for Binky in Part Four?

4. O Little Town of Pobbleton, Look Out – Blowbottom's Nigh In which Binky suffers a Yuletide backslide And greets a fast-friend, one who’s not quite as wide. As Binky’s eyes were tightly shut, he failed to immediately observe whatever it was that caused Ophelia Bloodgool to let out a startled whimper. All he knew for definite was that none of his extraneous appendages were in the process of being detached, or chewed to a fine paste between her ravening jaws. Read the rest of Chapter Four in Binky Blowbottom's Chrismas Spirit, available from Amazon now!

The Third Plastered Part of Binky's Festive Frolic!

3. Ding-Dong, Binky is so High, Goodness His Head is Spinning In which Binky Blowbottom butchers the English language And Ophelia Bloodgool eyes an appetiser for her impending cat sandwich. Binky Blowbottom was out of his giddy gourd. There is a saying – you may be familiar with it, or possibly with the condition it describes, depending on your access to illicitly obtained liquor, and if you’re an adult reading this, well, you’re probably plastered anyway – ‘three sheets to the wind’. Binky was in such a state now, only multiplied by a factor of nineteen to the dozen. Who would have believed juicing up bird meat and French biscuits could have such a powerful effect? Read the rest of Chapter Three in Binky Blowbottom's Chrismas Spirit, available from Amazon now!

The Second Instalment of Binky's Aberrant Advent Adventure!

2. Here Auberon Comes a-Hassling, in His Suit of Green In  which Binky Blowbottom is filled with Christmas spirit Seven hundred and fifty millilitres of the stuff. Binky Blowbottom sloped heavily onto the porch and immediately thought twice. Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow. As frozen tundras went, this one was less than stimulating. Read the rest of Chapter Two in Binky Blowbottom's Chrismas Spirit, available from Amazon now!

Binky's Back! An All-New Binky Blowbottom Yuletide Yarn Begins Here!

1. Binky’s Dreaming of a Not-so-Slight Christmas In which Lemington Soot delivers a Yuletide announcement And Binky Blowbottom responds with a less-than-merry denouncement. It was Christmas Eve in the Soot residence – that’s 11 Palmist’s Path for those of you who haven’t been paying att ention – and Binky Blowbottom, Lemington Soot’s prominently-paunched, mustard-yellow cat, was looking forward to Christmas. It wouldn’t be long now. He was quite beside himself with excitement. Why, he had even broken wind four times that morning in eager anticipation of the great event. Binky loved Christmas. He adored it. He was particularly partial to celebrating its occasion by snoozing indoors in front of a roaring fire, now and again arising to eat, before resuming his spot for a spot more sleeping, then breaking off to munch some more morsels. And so on. You get the gist. All of which he could do at any time, of course – season permitting for the fire. Although, Lemingt